Week 7

Best Friends

I've been asked this a couple times before and after us getting married. Oh, the question varies, but it usually just means: "Are you guys best friends?".

I have to think about this really hard each time. Even though I always come up with the same answer. "No, we're not." which shocks people. understandably so.

I just can't bring myself to call Craig my best friend. To me, a best friend is someone you can tell all your secrets to, you're not afraid of what they think of you, and you can count on them to be around for you when your at your absolute worst.

I tell Craig about 95% of everything, there's just some things he really doesn't need to know. I may not be afraid of what he thinks of me, but you better believe I'm being the best me so he doesn't have to see my worst. Why would I want that? Why would I want him to see that? I don't want my husband (still ew) to realize he married a potentially crazy person (hehehe.. not thaaaat crazy). And I reapply makeup after work, don't let him see me without makeup until bedtime or wake up, don't eat as much as I want (which is really for the better), all so I can not look at my absolute worst. I think the day I stop doing all that for him is the day we've lost our romance and now we're just roommates.

Don't worry! I express most of my feelings, but I've learned to sensor so we can have a peaceful relationship. Not one with lots of drama and crazy-face stuff.

But with all of that in mind... I don't do things with my best friend that I would absolutely do with Craig. I don't carry on a sexual relationship with my best friend (sorry puppy!;p lol), I can fall asleep without my best friend laying next to me-I have a horrible time without Craig, and I don't share money or my opinion on what we should do with our money with my best friend. I'd be absolutely stupid not to do it with Craig. though, i will buy stuff for my best friend, but I'm not going to open a personal bank account with my best friend... definitely a business bank account!! hehehe.

He considers me his best friend, but it's a little different. He doesn't have his previous best friends around us anymore, and they hardly talk. He has good friends here, but they aren't best friends. I hope it changes. That there's someone that he can hang out with at any time and he doesn't get sick of them after a while... Of course, he's a dude, so he can blow off the "sick of them" easier than I can. But I wish it was better for him.

Anyway! I love him so much, but he's not my best friend.