Q&A A Day

January 2nd, 2014

Can People Change?

I sure hope people can change, otherwise, I am still a selfish biotch at heart. Which, I like to think I'm not... anymore. There are several aspects of the human development that contribute to the ability to change. For example, the frontal lobe is one of the last things to be developed in the brain and it is responsible to think of the future and the consequences of actions. So when that part of the brain is developed and the skill is gained, people change. 

When I began to realize that there were consequences to my actions, I started feeling the pain that I could inflict on other people. Then of course, there's that age old adage of "do unto others that you would want to be done unto you"... or something like that. I'm pretty sure I learned that at church. Anyway, when I started to feel the pain that I could cause others, I didn't want want to be that person in their lives. I mean, sure, there are some people that I don't mesh with, but I wouldn't want to be "THAT person" they complain about regardless. So I became a more pleasant people to all of the people around me.

The second part that I see change people's nature (though, maybe not their basic nature) is experience. When I was a teenager--right around the time my frontal lobe was developing-- I believed my parents didn't know any more than I did. Then I grew up... and I realized that their experiences when they were growing up were vastly different than mine and that, believe it or not, they had lived longer than me. Even after I learned those lesson I found out that the romanticized notions I created about their past was not how it really was. For example, my mom grew up on a farm. In my mind, I saw a large, spacious house with light and laughter and riding horses. It was one big smile-fest in my mind. My dad, he played with whatever toy he wanted, swam in the lake of leaches (though I learned later that he didn't grow up in that home.. or at least I don't think he did) and DJ'd for his high school like a pimp. When I was "old enough" to be familiar with their pasts as an "adult" I found my stamp I put on their lives was silly at best. 

It's a good thing that the book I write in is too small to actually write this, but sometimes a little more explanation on things is desired. The end message is still the same, YES I believe people can change! Hopefully they take the opportunity to change for the better like I have and that they take the credit for their awesomeness.